Here’s a shorter version of the driver stories:
1. **Heaven Is Not for Everyone**
A priest and a taxi driver arrive in Heaven on the same day. The taxi driver gets a mansion, while the priest gets a run-down cabin. St. Peter explains: “When the priest preached, people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!”
2. **Bus Driver Versus the Elderly**
An elderly woman keeps handing the bus driver peanuts. When he asks why, she says, “We just love sucking the chocolate off them!”
3. **The Stranded Driver and the Horse**
A farmer uses different names to call his blind horse to pull a car out of a ditch. When the driver asks why, the farmer replies, “If Buddy thought he was pulling alone, he wouldn’t try!”
4. **Police Officer Versus Driver**
A driver is pulled over with machetes in his car. He proves he’s a juggler by juggling seven at once. A passing driver thinks it’s a sobriety test.
5. **A Truck Driver and His Emu**
A truck driver and his talking emu always pay with exact change. The truck driver reveals he has a genie who grants him the ability to always have the right amount, and his second wish was for a tall bird who agrees with everything he says.
6. **Cab Driver Versus Drunk Passengers**
A cab driver tricks his drunk passengers into thinking they’ve reached their destination. The third passenger slaps him, saying, “Watch your speed next time!”
7. **Elderly Woman Offered a Ride**
A woman picks up an elderly lady and shows her a bottle of wine for her husband. The elderly lady responds, “Good trade.”
8. **The Scientist and His Driver**
A scientist swaps places with his driver, who’s attended so many of his talks that he can deliver the speech perfectly. The driver nails it while the scientist relaxes in the audience.
9. **The Drunk Driver’s Exit**
A drunk driver says he’s only had a few drinks, but the officer tells him he’s sober enough to recognize he’s a disaster.
10. **The Teenager’s New Car**
A teenager shows off his old, rusty car to his friends, who laugh. He proudly calls it a “classic.”
Short and sweet!
